It’s pi…drizzling down today, what can I tell you… I hate the rain. It’s obviously a throwback to my days on muddy building sites in Scotland. Of course you don’t just have the rain to contend with, not just the excess water. No… it’s the gale force blusters which just about blow’s ye sideward. The rain coming at you sideways is a sight to behold, and I do not believe there is a brolly constructed that has been able to withstand the Scottish winter gale… as far as I’m concerned you are as well going out with a snorkel and flippers… naw … they wouldn’t work too well in a south wester.
The idea of grabbing a granny has different connotations to a boy’s night out at the local club .I suppose that may be called Cougar night elsewhere in the world…Naw… I’m talking about those dear old ladies hurtling down the road at sixty mph holding on to the last vestiges of tonights dinner, shouting “stoap me, stoap me!” a quick crash tackle and you’ve got a chance of stopping them being blown into next week
Of course it’s all different now, me being here in Australia… not quite as wild… pleasant I’d call it really… nothing much to whinge about. The trouble is that these memories still haunt me. They are a constant reminder of how it all started out.
My first week on the site (now called Erskine Town) was an eye opener, and to be honest… a sphincter tightener …. I was a proud first year apprentice of the Scottish Special Housing Association …just out of college… I’d love to say keen as mustard, but the four degrees above freezing and howling wind put paid to that… however. After signing in… with my brand new bag and even newer tools slung over my shoulder I made my way gingerly over the boarded walkways towards my new workmates. Only to witness another newbie disappear up to his waist in mud as he stepped off the timber and into the quagmire… lesson one learned very quickly… Remembering some sage advice from my old tech teacher, I went on the hunt. “find a nail, get yer jacket aff, hing it up and get stuck in” were his sound introductory words… and so I found an old nail on the ground picked out my shiny new brick hammer and walked over to a recently built brick wall…the only trouble was that it was soaked due to recent rainfall. … and I could.ve sworn I heard a humming noise coming from it.
All I was thinking was, get the nail in the wall, hang up the jacket, and get stuck in… you only get one first impression … now first impressions can be somewhat overrated … or otherwise.
I placed the nail proudly against the wall at a good jacket bearing height then quickly, drew my arm back in the customary manner. I then threw my arm forward with speed and precision at the awaiting implement… now … I can only tell you… what I remember … others may have a different version of the facts… All I can say is that, all I remember was the hammer arching at high speed over my shoulder….making full contact with the small steel target…. A mighty crack and flash and my hammer flying back over my shoulder at high speed… and of course, me looking for some new undies.
…I never found that hammer… lost in the mud and the sands of time… Now that is an unforgettable first impression though eh?
It seems there was some electric generator leaned up against the back of the wall and had shorted or leaked electricity through the wall… I was called the flash for the first week. Welcome to the grown ups world!!!
Well I’m signing off now …may yer welly’s never leak and yer gusset never reek. Keep safe and dry
Catch ya later