I was just thinking of water,( aqua, h20 etc)…It’s one of those love it or hate it Scenario’s. We all know it’s needed for the usual stuff, drinking, washing, cleaning… a wee dab in yer whisky perhaps… My wee dad thought that the “whiskey was wet enough thank you very much son…but you can toss in a cube of ice if ye feel the want.”
Ahh … the water of life… My brother had built a bar in the lounge (he’s handy like that.) he would be 19 or so and I the couple of years younger. Rab was having a wee party at the house, my mammy and da’ were oot for the night. But my dad’s favourite bottle of whiskey, (Dimple being the name,) Was off limits at threats of death and dismemberment… Ma’ and Da’ were sent on their way and we got to tidying the house. The drinks and accoutrements ( cheese and pickle onion spears, salmon spread sandwiches, crackers and stuff were at the ready early on and we were set for a wee doo, as they called it back in the day. Everything perfect … then an almighty Crack…We both looked into one another’s eyes in shocked disbelief.( Now you can’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humour)…
Now we didn’t drink hard spirits then. It was a can of beer, lager, whatever, but even before a soul had arrived, Rab and I were stunned in shock and horror as the bottle of Dimple cracked apart all on its own… leaving the golden libation bleeding onto the carpet below… It put the slightest bit of a dampener on the night for us having to explain the missing spirit….but not too much. Thank goodness my late returning dad was happy with a wee drink in him. … the house was tidy and nothing broken , no fights, and no police. A pretty good night all round really…By the morning we’d convinced him that he’d opened the bottle for all to share…. I can’t remember if we had to buy a replacement… you’d have to see Rab about that.
In Australia this year, in NSW, the land was in severe drought and still is in many places. Then there were catastrophic fires and I mean BIG, HUGE, GO ON FOR HUNDREDS OF MILES Fires. ..Then we got the floods! A lot of this was caused by government mismanagement… just ask the owners of the land … they’ve been telling the authorities for years how to go about it. They should know, they claim to have been here for 80,000 years. I’m pretty sure I’d give them a listening to.
We’ve had a couple of whopping storms of late and some people’s houses are getting washed out to sea. Someone noted… “If only there was a book to tell you the dangers of building a house on sand?”… A pretty expensive mistake if you ask me. However I’m safely up the hill away from the king tides thank God.
See that’s it… Water you either love it or hate it but you can’t do without it…. “Just give me a wee bit less water in my tea I like it strong!… a wee bit more water on those nuclear rods Boris … they’re just getting a teeny bit hot!. .. oh and aye make sure to bring a brolly …ye never know, it just might blooter.”
Yup we’d all prefer to live near the water… a river or the coast, It really doesn’t matter as long as it stays where it should be, and not run down the walls of my house. Or start my lounge suite and telly floating around the town.
I worked with a guy called Bobby Storm ( now that’s a cracker of a name , don’t you think?) Bobby was living in the west of NSW … nowhere near water… Bobby was working on a houseboat in his backyard. … Fourteen years and he still wasn’t finished. He told me. “The neighbours have started calling me Noah! … I better get me finger out!” …I don’t know about you but …STORM , NOAH!!! Just a thought! … in case you’ve started reading yer bible.
As Danny Bhoy, the comedian tells us… when Noah floated all the way up to Scotland
He shouted a warning at the locals “IT IS GOING TO RAIN FOR FORTY DAYS AND NIGHTS!!!”
Someone shouted back “IT’S ALRIGHT WE’RE IN SCOTLAND,IT’S BEEEN RAINING HERE FOR 56 ALREADY!!!”
KEEP YER UNDIES DRY AND YER DRINKS WET AND DON’T MIX UP THIS MESSAGE
CATCH YA